Comments on: Drug addiction and enabling parents

By: nugget

nugget — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 20:42:30 +0000

I understand totally. been there done that. I have 2 siblings that are the same way. Parents hand out to them while I work like H****. Finally i asked mydad why this is and before he could answer I said I know i am very independent and work and pay my bills and are level headed and u dont have 2 worry about me. On the other hand they arent and so you take care of them. He said I guess your right. Somewhere down the line God will take care of me. I know this deep in my heart. I am not struggling over money I do fine but it is still unfair. I have accepted his answer and life goes on. I am the better person and that makes me happy knowing they have to struggle daily.Brother been shot 5 times in prisons 5 times plus stole frrom family. and sis addicted to pills. Sounds like oour life is somewhat a repeat. I am 44 and it hasnt gotten any betterr.

By: skybabe

skybabe — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 05:17:49 +0000

Honey, It’s not that they are treating them good and you bad but it sounds like you don’t give them anything to worry about! They are concentrating on a very sick guy (your brother). I’ve been through this so many times, lost all of my 3 siblings by the time I was 36!!! Believe me! They love you, they just feel that you are safe with your husband and your smart. Thank god for you in this family, they love you more than you know! Write them a letter and just tell them you love them, forgive them because they are going through alot too!!! I’m sending out good thoughts to you!!!

By: Emily

Emily — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 19:56:16 +0000

I totally understand. Sounds like your parents are scared of them (how they would react, what would happen if they don’t…) All you can do is be you. Be happy with your husband. All you two need is each other. A few years back my husband and I actually sat down and discussed every person in our lives. We talked about the good and bad with each and decided who we needed to separate ourselves from. It wasn’t even as hard as I thought it would be. No family is perfect and you can’t change anyone. Just be.

By: bluegreen40

bluegreen40 — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 20:08:05 +0000

Go to Alanon. Honestly, just do it. There you will learn how to live with families like this, and what is your appropriate role.

Ultimately this is about your behavior and responses to their lives. You have to take care of yourself, while remaining gracious, honest, helpful.

Alanon friends will help you do this.

By: danielly

danielly — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 22:34:42 +0000

We have a member who is allowed near (family) kids although he is a known pedophile and has been in and out of prison and enabled in every way. I wish he’d have just hit rock bottom and let him kind of work this out on his own for once. The way people help him, this won’t happen anytime soon.

I do not want any money or attention he is getting, merely for him to see what he is doing, and for people to stop acting like he doesn’t have a problem.